One of the most common—and most frustrating—phrases expats encounter when dealing with Romanian institutions is a simple one:
“Depinde.”
“It depends.”
For many foreigners, this answer feels evasive, unprofessional, or even dismissive. In cultures where rules are explicit and processes are standardized, “it depends” sounds like a refusal to do one’s job or a sign of incompetence.
In Romania, however, this phrase plays a very different role. Understanding what “it depends” actually means—and how to respond to it—can dramatically improve your interactions with officials, administrators, and decision-makers.
Why This Answer Frustrates Expats
Most expats come from systems where institutional communication aims to deliver:
- clear yes/no answers,
- defined procedures,
- predictable timelines,
- consistency across cases.
In such environments, ambiguity is treated as a failure. Officials are expected to know the rules and apply them uniformly.
When a Romanian official says “it depends,” many expats hear:
- “I don’t know.”
- “I don’t want to help.”
- “I’m making this up as I go.”
- “You’re wasting my time.”
This interpretation is understandable—but often incorrect.
“It Depends” Is Not a Non-Answer
In Romania, “it depends” is rarely an expression of ignorance. More often, it is a holding position.
It communicates:
- uncertainty,
- caution,
- procedural awareness,
- and a refusal to commit prematurely.
Importantly, it is not the same as “no.”
Nor is it laziness.
It is a culturally encoded way of saying:
“I cannot safely answer this yet.”
“It Depends” as Risk Management
Romanian officials operate in an environment where personal accountability is real and often asymmetric. If something goes wrong, responsibility may fall disproportionately on the individual who gave an answer or approved a step—even if the case was ambiguous.
As a result, “it depends” is used to:
- avoid premature commitment
Giving a definitive answer too early can later be used against the official if new details emerge. - protect against future blame
Ambiguous cases can trigger audits, complaints, or internal reviews. Ambiguity is safer than certainty. - create decision space
Officials often need to assess documentation, consult colleagues, or evaluate precedent before answering.
Seen this way, “it depends” is not avoidance. It is defensive professionalism.
Context Matters More Than Rules
One of the biggest cultural differences expats encounter is the role of context.
In many Western systems, rules are designed to override context. In Romania, rules are often interpreted through context.
Answers may vary depending on:
- how the request is framed,
- how clearly the situation is explained,
- perceived legal or administrative risk,
- current workload or institutional pressure,
- past negative experiences with similar cases,
- whether the official believes the requester understands the system.
Two identical requests can receive different answers if the contextual risk profile is perceived differently.
This does not mean the system is arbitrary. It means it is case-sensitive.
Why Definitive Answers Are Rare at First Contact
First contact is often exploratory.
From the official’s perspective, they are silently asking:
- Is this person informed or confused?
- Is this a standard case or an edge case?
- Will this request generate problems later?
- Am I being pushed to say something I’ll regret?
Until these questions are resolved, a firm answer is risky.
“It depends” keeps the interaction open while deferring commitment.
Why Expats Take It Personally
Expats often experience this pattern emotionally, even if the issue is purely procedural.
Common expectations include:
- immediate clarity,
- consistency across offices,
- linear processes,
- predictable outcomes.
When these expectations collide with Romanian institutional reality, frustration escalates quickly.
“It depends” can feel like:
- a power move,
- passive resistance,
- disrespect,
- or even discrimination.
In most cases, it is none of these.
The frustration comes from misaligned assumptions, not personal rejection.
“It Depends” as an Invitation, Not a Wall
This is the key reframing.
Very often, “it depends” really means:
- “Explain your situation in more detail.”
- “Help me understand how risky this is.”
- “Show me which category your case falls into.”
- “Give me something I can justify.”
It is an invitation to co-construct a safe answer.
Officials are not asking you to convince them emotionally. They are asking you to:
- clarify facts,
- narrow variables,
- reduce ambiguity,
- and implicitly share responsibility for the framing.
Once this happens, answers often become clearer.
How the Conversation Changes When You Recognize This
When expats stop reacting defensively and start responding strategically, interactions shift.
Instead of:
“Why does everything depend? Just tell me the rule.”
Try:
- “What factors does it depend on?”
- “In which scenarios would the answer be yes?”
- “What documentation would reduce uncertainty?”
- “How are similar cases usually handled?”
These questions signal competence, not challenge.
They also move the official from defensive ambiguity to procedural explanation.
When “It Depends” Becomes a Warning Sign
Not all uses of “it depends” are benign.
Repeated ambiguity with no progress may indicate:
- the person lacks decision-making authority,
- the office is internally conflicted,
- the official wants to avoid involvement entirely,
- or the issue sits in a bureaucratic gray zone no one wants to own.
Warning signs include:
- no concrete criteria are ever mentioned,
- answers change without explanation,
- verbal assurances are never followed by action,
- you are repeatedly told to “come back later” with no guidance.
At this point, continuing informally is counterproductive.
When and How to Escalate
Escalation does not mean confrontation.
Appropriate steps include:
- moving from verbal to written communication,
- asking for clarification by email,
- requesting references to applicable regulations,
- documenting previous interactions,
- politely asking who has formal authority over the matter.
Written communication forces structuring and reduces infinite ambiguity.
Officials are far more careful—and often more precise—once something is on record.
How to Respond Effectively: Practical Strategies
Productive responses to “it depends” include:
- Ask what it depends on
This turns vagueness into criteria. - Clarify acceptable scenarios
“In which cases would this be possible?” - Reduce perceived risk
Provide documentation, references, or precedents. - Move to writing when needed
Emails create accountability without hostility. - Document follow-ups
Summaries like “As discussed today…” help anchor progress.
These actions respect the system while protecting your interests.
Final Thought
“It depends” is not a uniquely Romanian flaw. It is a rational adaptation to a system where rules, responsibility, and risk do not always align cleanly.
Expats who interpret it as obstruction often end up locked in frustration. Those who recognize it as a signal—and respond accordingly—usually make progress.
In Romania, clarity is rarely given upfront. It is earned through contextualization.
Once you learn how to supply that context, “it depends” often turns into an answer. This Answer Frustrates Expats
For many expats, “it depends” feels like a non-answer. In rule-driven cultures, it sounds unprofessional or evasive.
In Romania, it is often neither.
“It Depends” as Risk Management
Officials use “it depends” to:
- avoid premature commitment,
- protect themselves from future blame,
- assess context before deciding.
It signals uncertainty, not refusal.
Context Matters More Than Rules
Answers often vary based on:
- how the request is framed,
- perceived risk,
- workload,
- past experiences with similar cases.
Definitive answers are rare at first contact.
Why Expats Take It Personally
Many expats expect:
- immediate clarity,
- consistent answers,
- predictable timelines.
When these expectations are unmet, frustration escalates quickly.
“It Depends” as an Invitation
Often, the phrase really means:
- “Explain your situation”,
- “Reduce the risk for me”,
- “Show me this won’t cause problems”.
Recognizing this changes the conversation.
When “It Depends” Becomes a Warning Sign
Repeated ambiguity with no progress may indicate:
- lack of authority,
- avoidance,
- internal conflict.
At this point, written clarification or escalation is appropriate.
How to Respond Effectively
Productive responses include:
- asking what it depends on,
- clarifying acceptable scenarios,
- moving from verbal to written communication,
- documenting follow-ups.
Related reading
This article is part of a broader guide on how Romanian authorities actually work; each of the linked articles below explores one of these mechanisms in detail.